Dealing with shame and the fear of death.
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2 Corinthians 11:3
1 Corinthians 15: 42-45
Their Eyes Were Opened
Fear of Death
Jesus is the Answer
We are born with only two fears
What do you think they are?
the fear of falling
the fear of loud sounds
-- CNN.com (What is the science behind fear?)
The biggest fears
To be publicly shamed
2 Corinthians 11:3
3But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.
Today we will look at fear and shame.
Wholeness is about being _______ healthy
Dealing with life’s current stresses and also being healed from past experiences/wounds
Traits of Wholeness
Not seeking external approval / validation
Living by values and principles
Living with Purpose and Passion
Healthy relationships with both genders
Not losing control of your emotions
Free from addictions
Genuinely applaud the success of others
Forgive those who have wronged you in the past
Accept That God loves you as you are
Not afraid to fail
Free from irrational fear, worry, and anxiety
Selfless encounters with others
You don’t give to get
Not manipulating others trying to control their actions/reactions
You genuinely care about how others feel
Their Eyes Were Opened
Can’t cover everything about Adam and Eve
1Now the serpent was more crafty [aruwm] than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” 2The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; 3but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” 4The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! 5“For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked [eyrom]; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.
Good for food
Lust of the flesh
Delight to the eyes
Lust of the eyes
Desirable to make one wise
Pride of life
subtle, shrewd, crafty, sly, sensible
Passive participle of aram
to be subtle, be shrewd, be crafty, beware, take crafty counsel, be prudent
Root word is aram
The serpent was the only conscious (arun) creature around
After Adam and Eve ate they became arun
aruwm = hidden agenda
eyrom = nothing is hidden at all
… all laid out on the table
Who Will You Listen To?
Did Adam and Eve understand the difference between bad and good before they ate the fruit?
They understood that it was bad to eat the fruit
Animals obey their instinct
Adam and Eve were previously obeying God only
The serpent exposed them to another options
Every day we have to choose who we listen to
Our own rational and logic
Their Eyes Were Opened
What does it mean that Adam and Eve’s eyes were opened?
they could already physically see
It means that they became aware of the existence of evil
Once they ate from the fruit the conscious became aware of something that it was never supposed to be aware of.
They became self conscience
Now they became overly concerned about what was wrong with themselves
Who has ever been concerned with what other people think about you?
What are things people will do when they are self conscious?
Take too long do get dressed
Don’t go to an event because people might not like them
Symptoms of unhealthy self-conscious emotions:
responding to embarrassment with anger and hostility
avoiding social experiences
blame others for your mistakes
feeling responsible for wrongs made against yourself
having low self-esteem
experiencing agitation, anxiety, depression, or nervousness
“ when you don’t need counseling you will say whatever you feel… Because what you feel is correct“
You don’t say something you regret
You don’t have to think...
Don’t curse them out
Don’t say that embarrassing thought
Don’t say that sinful thought.
That sounds selfish
Your thoughts will be in alignment with your actions
8They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” 10He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.”
They hid because they were naked
They became ashamed
The opposite of pride is not humility
What is the opposite of pride?
I have a certain standard
I deserve a certain standard
Example: the Pharisees
Set a higher standard
Were proud because they claimed to meet the standard
Felt they were better than those who didn’t meet the standard
The standard for success:
Having an expensive car
Having my kids at this school
Living in this zip code
Wearing these clothes
Doing my quiet time
Being a millionaire
Being a Christian
Voting for the right candidate
Marrying into the right family
Not eating meat
Saving the environment
Dating a 10
Marrying a doctor
Pride and shame have the same standard.
Pride says I see myself as achieving that standard.
Shame says I didn't achieve that standard.
I did/am it
Or I’m deserving of it
I didn’t do it
I’m not worthy of it
You can hold someone else to a standard that you didn’t achieve
Example dating criteria
Example: Imposter syndrome
Guilt vs Shame
Guilt is the objective reality of being liable to punishment because of something we’ve done.
Shame is the subjective feeling of being worthless because of who we are.
“I did something wrong” vs “I am something wrong”
Guilt can be good
Feeling guilt when we sin is a good and godly and healthy response.
Example: guilt when cheating on your relationship
Those in shame have a tendency to hide; to create walls of protection behind which they hope no one will see the true you. They are terrified that their true self will be seen and known and rejected by others. So they put on a false face, they adopt a personality or certain traits that they think others will find acceptable. They are convinced that if someone were to see them for who they really are, they’d be repulsed and disappointed. So they are led to be less than their true self. They deliberately stifle whatever strengths they have. They say to themselves: “Whatever I do, don’t want to be vulnerable. It’s dangerous.”
Ideal you / Bad you
Treat people like Jesus would
Share the gospel
Not be addicted
Not get angry and lose control
Be in control of my emotions
Not be anxious
Be married right now
Be in a better financial condition
Response to Shame
How do people respond to shame?
Performing / Achieving
The ideal you is the you that is behaving and performing.
Run to God
Our response to shame is often to run
You run to religious thing
We go to church
Run From God
Some people will run from God
Turn to Addictions
Shame is a gateway emotion
Mad at Self
We get mad because we aren’t doing what we should be doing
Origins of Shame
Sometimes you have to go back and deal with the things of the past
Something Must be Wrong With Me
As a child..
Some of these messages were communicated overtly by parents who had no concerns for the child’s welfare. Some were communicated indirectly by caring parents who themselves were too young, overwhelmed, or distracted to provide a nurturing environment for their child. At times, these messages were communicated by circumstances that were beyond anyone’s control.
In every situation a child would believe these events and circumstances were telling a story about him/her. He believed there was something about him that caused these things to happen.
Using childlike logic s/he concluded,
there must be something wrong with me because…
When I cry, no one comes
Mom gets that look on her face
Dad left and didn’t come back
Mom has to do everything for me
Dad yells at me
I’m not perfect like mom and dad
I’m not perfect like my siblings
I can’t make mom happy
I’m only good enough / lovable when ...
I’m different from dad
Mom needs me
I don’t make any mistakes
I make good grades
I’m not like my brother
I don’t cause anyone any problems
I make mom and dad happy
internalize the same belief
– it was a bad or dangerous thing for me to be just who I am
What messages that were communicated by your family seem to imply that you weren’t OK just as you were?
Fear of Death
10He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.”
11And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” 12The man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.” 13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Adam and Eve became vulnerable to:
Sickness and disease
Attack from animals
They became afraid
They became mortal
They became conscious of their own mortality.
They became afraid of death.
Fear of death is a consequence of the fall
This fear of death is now the background music that plays in the minds of humans
All animals now have a fear of death
Fear of Death
Predation or predator death
anxiety is a form that arises when an individual harms another, physically and/or mentally.
anxiety stems from the basic knowledge that human life must end.
What are some things people do because they’re afraid of death?
Don’t go to church
Christians and Death
The ancient Christians were fearless in the face of death
Story: Francis Chan
Ancient church was unstoppable
A study in 2010 showed that the more religious a person was the less they feared death
4Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. 5For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection, 6knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin; 7for he who has died is freed from sin.
Jesus is the Answer
Adam and Eve were made in the image of God
God said: “it is good”
Adam was in an ideal state
But then they fell
It takes the rest of the Bible for humans to get that back
Man’s fall brought with it
Guilt / Shame
The enemy uses these tools against us
We were never supposed to experience these feelings
Once they became conscious They realized they were vulnerable.
They had to protect themselves from the world.
Now that we’re conscious we can be terrified of the future.
They didn’t have to work to produce food before they fell
Lived like the birds of the air
They were like little children
A Childlike Faith
Adam was innocent so he could fulfill whatever desire he had immediately.
There was no need for him to worry about the future.
He did not have to work in order to produce food.
Food was in an abundance.
There was no need to fight others over resources because God would provide.
Adam was secure in the knowledge that God would provide
He had no worry about the future.
He had no knowledge of his mortality or concern about the future.
Jesus Came With the Solution
That is the state Jesus tells us we need to go back to.
This is being like a child.
Most children don’t grow up with the fear of whether or not they will eat tomorrow.
They don’t concern themselves with how resources will come to be
Don’t be worried about tomorrow
Don’t worry about what to eat or drink
Don’t worry about what you will wear
Jesus also came to
Now we can look forward to death
We are storing up riches in heaven
If we truly accept Jesus’s sacrifice and accept the grace of God then we can become free again
We lose these concerns:
Putting our identity in Jesus
Guilt and shame
And accepting God’s forgiveness of our sins
Stop trying to impress man
Fear of death
Accepting Eternal life
The goal is to get back to the state that we lost in the fall
We don’t have to be afraid anymore
Your value and identity are not determined by what others have said to you, about you, or perpetrated against you.
Your value and identity are determined by who you are as an image-bearer and what Christ has done on your behalf.
You are...who God says you are
The Bible tells us that … We can be a child of God
We need to accept God’s
Identity as an image bearer
1 Corinthians 15: 42-45*
42So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown a perishable body, it is raised an imperishable body; 43it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; 44it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. 45So also it is written, “The first MAN, Adam, BECAME A LIVING SOUL.” The last Adam became a life-giving spirit.
Presenter: Michael Leadon
Secrets of Adam and eve
Rabbi Ted Falcon
No More Mr. nice guy
12 Rules of Life
How the Holy Spirit Delivers You From Shame
The Naked Serpent
10‘Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
Genesis 3:14 - 24
14The LORD God said to the serpent,
“Because you have done this,
Cursed are you more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you will go,
And dust you will eat
All the days of your life;
15And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her seed;
He shall bruise you on the head,
And you shall bruise him on the heel.”
16To the woman He said,
“I will greatly multiply
Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you will bring forth children;
Yet your desire will be for your husband,
And he will rule over you.”
17Then to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it’;
Cursed is the ground because of you;
In toil you will eat of it
All the days of your life.
18“Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you;
And you will eat the plants of the field;
19By the sweat of your face
You will eat bread,
Till you return to the ground,
Because from it you were taken;
For you are dust,
And to dust you shall return.”
22Then the LORD God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”— 23therefore the LORD God sent him out from the garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken. 24So He drove the man out; and at the east of the garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life.
We Choose the Punishment
We die because we choose sin
A woman has pain in childbirth because she chooses it
A man has to suffer when working because he chooses it
We now have to till the ground