Outline:
Finding Your Purpose in Life Series
The Impact of Family Favoritism
Purpose Begins with a Vision, Not a Plan
Preparation In the Pit
Faithfulness in the Pit Prepares You for the Palace
Scripture:
Genesis 37: 3-4
Genesis 37:5–11
Genesis 37:18-27
Genesis 39:1-4
Finding Your Purpose in Life Series
The two greatest days in your life are:
the day you were born
the day you figure out why you were born
– Mark Twain
The Bible tells us that everything was created by God, the Designer, for a reason
If you want to find your purpose… You have to start with God
Your calling is the purpose that God created you for
It's the end goal of your assignment on earth
It is how you serve His purposes in the world
A Christian’s Callings
Christians have
General callings
A Unique calling
General Christian Assignments
All Christians are called to:
To Love God
Love your neighbor
Make disciples
Be conformed to the image of Christ – sanctification
Unique Calling
You were given unique
Natural ability
Acquired skills
Spiritual Gifts
Personality
Desires and preferences
Life experiences
All of this makes you uniquely qualified to glorify God and to serve others
In this series we will discover:
What a purpose is
Why it matters
What makes you unique
How your life experiences have prepared you for your calling
Methods to uncover your purpose
How to overcome the barriers preventing you from pursuing your purpose
Throughout this next year, I will walk alongside you and help guide you to finding your purpose
The Impact of Family Favoritism
History
Joseph’s father was named Jacob/Israel
He had 12 sons
The families of those 12 sons became the 12 tribes of Israel
Genesis 37: 3-4
3Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his other sons, because he was the son of his old age; and he made him a [a]multicolored tunic. 4 And his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers; and so they hated him and could not speak to him [b]on friendly terms.
The multicolored coat was an outward expression of his father‘s love for him
Joseph’s brothers had displaced anger
That’s when you can’t show your anger towards the source because there will be consequences
So you show your anger at someone where there’s little or no risk
You’re mad at your boss but you want to keep your job so you take it out on
Your coworkers
Your family
I get that you love him … But what about me?
You don’t see the contribution did I have had
Ruben was the oldest
The tribe of Judah
Out of Levi came to priest who would work in the temple
Benjamin was the youngest
Why was Joseph the favorite?
Why was Joseph the favorite child?
There are 2 primary biblical reasons why Jacob favored Joseph above his brothers:
Joseph Was the First Son of Rachel, Jacob's True Love
Jacob had two wives, the sisters Leah and Rachel (along with two concubines, Bilhah and Zilpah). While Jacob was tricked into marrying Leah first, Rachel was the love of his life, whom he labored for 14 years to marry.
For many years, Rachel was unable to bear children. When she finally gave birth to Joseph, he became the living symbol of Jacob's deep love for her. Rachel’s status as Jacob’s favored wife passed down to her firstborn son.
He Was "The Son of His Old Age"
Genesis 37:3 explicitly states: "Now Israel [Jacob] loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age."
In ancient patriarchal societies, children born late in a parent’s life were often held in special affection. By the time Joseph was born, Jacob was an elderly man, making Joseph’s birth feel like a miraculous blessing in his later years.
The impact of being the mother’s favorite child
Psychologists find that being the favorite comes with distinct psychological benefits, but also significant hidden burdens.
The Benefits: A Strong Foundation
Higher Self-Esteem
The consistent validation, attention, and warmth from a mother can build a strong sense of self-worth and confidence.
Security and Resilience
Favorites often gives a deep sense of security, which can make them more resilient when facing outside stressors or academic and career challenges.
The Hidden Burdens: Anxiety and Guilt
It frequently creates internal pressure:
The Weight of Expectations
Favorites are often burdened with the responsibility of maintaining their status. They may become perfectionists, living with a persistent fear of disappointing their mother or failing to meet her high standards.
The "Golden Child" Trap
In some family dynamics, the favorite becomes an extension of the mother's own ego or unfulfilled dreams, leading the child to suppress their authentic self.
Guilt
Favorites are often aware of the unfair dynamic, leading to "survivor’s guilt" regarding their siblings.
Sibling Friction and Isolation
One of the most profound impacts of favoritism is how it reshapes the family ecosystem:
Strained Sibling Relationships
Research shows that parental favoritism is one of the leading causes of sibling resentment, rivalry, and estrangement that persists well into adulthood.
Isolation
The favorite may find themselves isolated from their siblings within the home, lacking the shared bond and support system that siblings typically provide for each other.
The Long-Term Adult Impact: Depression Risk
A study at Cornell University yielded a surprising result regarding adult children: **being the mother's favorite was actually associated with higher rates of depression in adulthood.**
Psychologists attribute this to two main factors:
Emotional Strain
Adult favorites often feel a disproportionate responsibility for their mother’s emotional well-being and care as she ages.
Sibling Animosity
The lack of a supportive sibling network in adulthood leaves the favorite with less familial support when facing life’s challenges.
Group Discussion Questions:
Was there favoritism in your family, and how did it affect you or your siblings?
Was there a black sheep in your family?
How can family dynamics or past environments shape how we view our potential and God's call on our lives?
What are practical ways we can prevent past hurts or family dysfunction from holding us back from pursuing our God-given purpose?
Purpose Begins with a Vision, Not a Plan
Genesis 37:5–11
5Then Joseph [c]had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. 6He said to them, “Please listen to this dream which I have [d]had; 7for behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and behold, my sheaf stood up and also remained standing; and behold, your sheaves gathered around and bowed down to my sheaf.” 8Then his brothers said to him, “Are you actually going to reign over us? Or are you really going to rule over us?” So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words.
9Then he [e]had yet another dream, and informed his brothers of it, and said, “Behold, I have [f]had yet another dream; and behold, the sun and the moon, and eleven stars were bowing down to me.” 10He also told it to his father as well as to his brothers; and his father rebuked him and said to him, “What is this dream that you have [g]had? Am I and your mother and your brothers actually going to come to bow down to the ground before you?” 11And his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind.
Vision Ahead of Execution
God gives the destination (the vision) long before He reveals the map (the plan). Joseph saw the sheaves and stars bowing, but he had no idea how God would bring it to pass.
Maybe you’ve known since a young age that you were destined to do something
Maybe God put a dream in your heart
God plants an idea/seed in you
https://www.tiktok.com/@matthew23.34/video/7672205170738007326
You Can’t Tell Your Dream to Everyone
Protecting the Dream
Not everyone in your circle has the capacity, spiritual maturity, or heart to celebrate where God is taking you. Some visions must be held quietly between you and God until the proper season.
Group Discussion Questions:
Did you feel at a young age that God destined you for something great?
Why is it often difficult to hold onto a God-given vision when we don't yet see a clear path or plan to achieve it?
How do you discern who is safe to share your dreams and goals with, and when is it better to keep them private?
Preparation In the Pit
Genesis 37:18-27
18[j]When they saw him from a distance, and before he came closer to them, they plotted against him to put him to death. 19They said to one another, “[k]Here comes this dreamer! 20Now then, come and let’s kill him, and throw him into one of the pits; and we will say, ‘A vicious animal devoured him.’ Then we will see what will become of his dreams!” 21But Reuben heard this and rescued him out of their hands [l]by saying, “Let’s not [m]take his life.” 22Then Reuben said to them, “Shed no blood. Throw him into this pit that is in the wilderness, but do not lay a hand on him”—so that later he might rescue him out of their hands, to return him to his father. 23So it came about, when Joseph [n]reached his brothers, that they stripped Joseph of his tunic, the [o]multicolored tunic that was on him; 24and they took him and threw him into the pit. Now the pit was empty, without any water in it. 25Then they sat down to eat [p]a meal. But as they raised their eyes and looked, behold, a caravan of Ishmaelites was coming from Gilead, with their camels carrying labdanum resin, balsam, and [q]myrrh, [r]on their way to bring them down to Egypt. 26And Judah said to his brothers, “What profit is it for us to kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27Come, and let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him, for he is our brother, our own flesh.” And his brothers listened to him.
Joseph’s brothers threw him in a pit
Some traders came and saw him in the pit, took him out of the pit and sold him into slavery
You
Your pit might be ______
A divorce
A bad doctors report
Failing business
Losing a job
Trying to cover your bills
Losing an opportunity
losing your house
Losing a spouse
Losing a child
losing a parent
somebody right now is in a pit
You have to hold onto your promise
in spite of___ I have a promise
My divorce
Losing my child
losing my job
The promise keeps you moving forward because a pit cannot stop the promise
The sinking
Everything looks different from the pit
The pit doesn’t look like what I saw in my dream
it doesn’t look like I’m going forward… I’m going backwards
some of you were in a pit so deep that it started to make you doubt what God promised you
You thought you would be in the pit for a few hours
It turned in the weeks
Weeks of turned in the months
Months have turned into years
Preparation
The pit is the preparation before you get to the promised land
We see the pattern of the promise being followed by the pit
Children of Israel in the wilderness
David anointed and then fleeing from Saul for his life
Jesus being baptized and then being tempted in the wilderness
“The pit” is needed to build your character
Is turning you into the person that is able to shoulder the burden of the blessing you are about to receive
Because they didn’t build the character to go along with the lesson
Group Discussion Questions:
Have you been through some pits that prepared you for your next season?
Reflecting on everyday frustrations like being cut off in traffic or disrespected in line,
How does our immediate reaction reveal our heart's readiness to handle larger tests of character?
How can reframing a major personal setback as "preparation" change the way we respond to difficult seasons?
Faithfulness in the Pit Prepares You for the Palace
Genesis 39:1-4
1 Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an Egyptian officer of Pharaoh, the captain of the bodyguard, bought him from the Ishmaelites, who had taken him down there. 2 And the LORD was with Joseph, so he became a successful man. And he was in the house of his master, the Egyptian. 3 Now his master saw that the LORD was with him and that the LORD made all that he did prosper in his hand. 4 So Joseph found favor in his sight and became his personal servant; and he made him overseer over his house, and put him in charge of all that he owned.
Joseph was sold to an Egyptian officer named Potiphar
The Bible says Joseph found favor from Potiphar
Joseph was put in charge of all that Potiphar owned
Potiphar’s wife made advances at Joseph
He ran from her and she snatched his robe
Joseph was Imprisoned
Joseph interpreted the dreams of the baker and cupbearer
Genesis 40: 6-8
6[c]When Joseph came to them in the morning and saw them, [d]behold, they were dejected. 7So he asked Pharaoh’s officials who were with him in confinement in his master’s house, “[e]Why are your faces so sad today?” 8And they said to him, “We have [f]had a dream, and there is no one to interpret it.” Then Joseph said to them, “Do interpretations not belong to God? Tell it to me, please.”
Joseph Continued to Help Others
Joseph interpreted their dreams
Excellence Where You Are
Whether in Potiphar’s household or locked in an Egyptian dungeon, Joseph served with integrity and diligence.
It is not just the amount of time that matters when you are in the pit
It’s what you do while you wait
Will you be faithful to the duties God has given you while you wait?
You have to continue to serve even when you were going through struggles
Your consistency in the pit can influence how long you stay in the pit
Using Your Gifts Outwardly:
In prison, Joseph didn't focus solely on his own misery. He noticed the troubled faces of the chief cupbearer and baker and used his spiritual gift (interpreting dreams) to help them.
Key Takeaway:
You cannot step into palace-level responsibility if you refuse to show pit-level faithfulness. Your current season, no matter how small or unfair, is the testing ground for your future calling.
God tests your faithfulness in small tasks
https://www.tiktok.com/@matthew23.34/video/7672225385756642590
Group Discussion Questions:
What small tasks or commitments to God have you kept?
Fasting
Praying for people
Serving
What does "pit-level faithfulness" look like in daily work, relationships, or church service when we feel stuck or unappreciated?
How did Joseph’s willingness to notice and help others in prison pave the way for his future elevation, and how can we apply that mindset today?
Can you look back on a time in your life and realized your actions kept you in a pit longer than you needed to be?
The Greater Good
Your purpose is never just about your individual success; it is tied to saving, serving, and blessing others.
When reunited with his brothers, Joseph stated: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" (Genesis 50:20).
Ultimately, purpose is not merely about personal success or elevation; it is about serving a broader mission that preserves and impacts others.
Nothing can stop God‘s plan
Nothing can stop God‘s plan
Your family may be against you… But that won’t stop you
Someone may lie on you… But that won’t stop you
You may have a setback…but it can’t stop you
Some of you are hurting right now
⦁ You are waiting for your new robe
⦁ Waiting for your dream to come true
you had a dream… But you ended up in a pit
⦁ you had a dream… But you ended up in a prison
Things happened that were out of your control
you don’t have the resources to accomplish that dream
you have too many responsibilities to accomplish the dream
You don’t feel equipped to accomplish your dream
Not in your own strength
But remember it wasn’t Joseph’s dream that got him out of prison
It was Pharaoh's dream
Joseph’s dream wasn’t going to get him out of jail
So God gave Pharoah a dream that freed Joseph
Joseph couldn’t free himself… But God had a plan
Stop relying on your own strength
Stop trying to be in control
Stop thinking that you have to figure it out
God can change the situation in an instant
But you have to give him control
You might have to let go of your own dream
And take hold of God’s dream
God can take you from the pit from the prison to the palace
=========
Joseph was put into pit
Sold into slavery
told he wasn’t good enough and sold again.
Given to Potiphar.
Falsely accused.
Put into jail
If Joseph hadn't gone through that journey… What do you think he would’ve done to his brothers when he saw them?
Joseph’s entire journey wasn’t about him.
It was to preserve the line of Israel from famine
Joseph didn’t get promoted just because he deserved to be second in command.
Joseph purpose was for the prophesied time when “there will be no food in the house of Jacob“
If Jacob hadn’t been through his Journey when his brothers came, he would’ve
thrown them in jail.
Had them killed
Celebrated his revenge with a feast
Joseph’s entire journey was to create a man who could preserve destiny
It is only in retrospect that Joseph understood why he had to go to prison
Joseph got access to Pharoah only because he went to jail
Instructor: Michael Leadon
References
You can take my robe, but you can’t take my dream
Michael Leadon (sermon 2025)
A pit can’t stop a promise - Pastor Derek Faison
The potter's house
