Saturday, April 3, 2021

Dealing With Anxiety




Why are we so stressed and what can we do about it?


Scriptures:

  • Philippians 4:6-8

  • Psalms 94:19

  • Isaiah 26:3-4

  • 1 Peter 5:5-7

  • Proverbs 12:25

  • Proverbs 29:25

  • 2 Corinthians 2:9

  • Philippians 4:6-9

  • Philippians 4:6-7

  • Matthew 14: 26-31



Outline:

  • Intro

  • Review

    • Seeking Wholeness

    • Emotional Triggers

  • What is Anxiety?

  • Symptoms of Anxiety

  • Causes of Anxiety

    • You Want to be in Control

    • Your Pride

    • Fear

    • People Pleasing

  • Solutions 

    • Prayer

    • Thanksgiving 

    • Focus

    • Get Closer to God

  • Summary of Practical Steps

  • Return to the Garden of Eden



If you think about:

  • Past > low mood, depression

  • Future > Anxiety

    • Trying to control that future



Philippians 4:6-8

6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think on these things.


Usage: peace, peace of mind; invocation of peace a common Jewish farewell, in the Hebraistic sense of the health (welfare) of an individual.


1515 eirḗnē (from eirō, "to join, tie together into a whole") – properly, wholeness, i.e. when all essential parts are joined together; peace (God's gift of wholeness).

  --HELPS Word-studies

^integrated

Review 

Seeking Wholeness 

We are in our series called Seeking Wholeness


How can we be  _______ healthy

  • spiritually

  • emotionally

  • mentally



Dealing with life’s current stresses and also being healed from past experiences/wounds 


We’re not just supposed to get eternal life

  • We’re supposed to have: joy, peace, patience and self control here on earth

Traits of Wholeness

  1. Authenticity 

  2. Honesty

  3. Kindness

  4. Not seeking external approval / validation 

  5. Living by values and principles 

  6. Setting Boundaries

  7. Taking ownership of your responsibilities

  8. Living with purpose and passion

  9. Optimism 

  10. Confidence

  11. Healthy relationships with both genders

  12. Not losing control of your emotions

  13. Free from addictions

  14. Addressing Conflict

  15. Vulnerability 

  16. Not critical or Judgmental 

  17. Not jealous

    1. Genuinely applaud the success of others

  18. Forgive those who have wronged you in the past

  19. Know that you’re worthy of receiving love

  20. Not afraid to fail

  21. Able to manage irrational fear, worry, and anxiety 

  22. Selfless encounters with others

  23. Not manipulating others trying to control their actions/reactions

  24. You care about how others feel

  25. Patient

  26. Don’t give into peer/social pressure

  27. Can communicate directly


Emotional Triggers Review

Emotional trigger is when something happens and you have an emotional response that is disproportionate to what is happening 

  • You blow up at a small thing

  • You overreact

  • Overthink

  • Overstressed 

  • Over obsess


It’s usually because whatever happened hit a deeper wound or a deeper insecurity 

  • You are reacting to the past

  • Something inside of you is feeling deeply threatened


The Source 

We get triggered because of a bad experience 

  • first time 

  • Traumatic time


First time someone:

  • embarrasses you 

  • reject

  • Laughs at

  • Yelled at

  • violate your trust

  • Called you stupid

  • Ignores 

  • Gives you the silent treatment

  • cheated 

  • Makes fun

  • gives you a certain look

  • Talked down 

  • Touched you inappropriately 

  • Withdraws love


Physical Reaction

  • Heart beating fast

  • breathing is heavy

  • Clenched fist

The Triggering Experience

You’re triggered when someone

  • embarrasses you 

  • reject you

  • Laughs at you

  • Yelled at you

  • You make the same facial expression

  • Same hand gesture

  • Same tone of voice


Transference

Yes you are mad at the person standing in front of you

  • Also mad at the person who did it the first time

  • And you’re taking it out on the person who is in front of you


Unforgiveness

You feel the hurt when

  • you think about the person

  • someone sounds like the person

  • someone walks like them 

  • Someone acts like him

  • You smell their cologne


Other Points

  1. Own Your Reaction

  2. The Story You Tell Yourself about the other person

  3. Tinted Glasses


Triggering reveals something about you

  1. Areas of your emotions that need healing

  2. What you have pride in

  3. What your ego is tied to

  4. What you are seeking validation from


What is Anxiety?

What is anxiety?


Psalms 94:19

19When anxiety overwhelms me,

Your consolation delights my soul.


Anxiety is an emotion that we all get when we are in stressful situations


apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness usually over an impending or anticipated ill


1 in 14 people have an anxiety disorder

  • Each year it cost over $42 billion to treat anxiety disorders


90% of all illness is stress related


Causes things like

  • Depression

  • School dropout

  • Suicide

  • Difficulty focusing and holding down a job

  • Relationship breakdown


Helpful Worry

Can worry be good?


Helpful worry

  • Thinking ahead

  • Anticipating problems and trying to solve them


Unhelpful worry

  • Focusing on things you can’t change

  • Or things that may not come to pass


Separate real worries from hypothetical worries

  • Hypothetical worries of worrying about things that might happen later


Example: students cramming 


Anxiety Disorder

People with general anxiety disorder worry excessively and constantly about everything that’s going on in their lives and they find it difficult to control this 



When you have high anxiety over things that don’t cause a threat

  • Worry excessively and constantly about everything that’s going on in their lives 

  • Difficulty controlling it

  • Restlessness

  • Fear

  • In ability to sleep at night

  • Can’t concentrate on tasks


Catastrophizing is focusing on the worst case scenario

Symptoms of Anxiety

Traits of Anxiety

  1. Thinking people are secretly judging you

  2. Avoiding eye contact

  3. Being unable to say “no” and feeling overcommitted

  4. Thinking you need to be perfect so people won’t judge you

  5. Constantly worrying too much about your word choice


Pros and Cons

  1. Detail oriented

    1. overthinking

  2. Helpful

    1. Trouble saying “no”

  3. Outgoing

    1. People pleasing

  4. Hard working

    1. Fear of failure

  5. Performs well under pressure

    1. procrastinate


Procrastination

Why we procrastinate

  1. You have a strong drive for success but a bigger fear of failure

  2. You believe your performance says something about your self worth

  3. Procrastination is self-protection


--- Causes of Anxiety ---

You Want to be in Control

Isaiah 26:3-4

3 “The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace,

Because he trusts in You.

4 “Trust in the LORD forever,

For in GOD the LORD, we have an everlasting Rock.


Are you trusting in God to solve your problems or are you trusting in your own ability?


Peace is connected to trust


Planner

Who here is a planner?

  • Plan or predict what’s going to happen next week, next year

  • Two years from now


You are trying to predict an outcome that is uncertain


Leads to worry


Indecision


Does anyone have issues putting off starting something because you don’t feel ready enough?


  • You find it hard to make decisions

    • What to wear

    • What to eat

    • Who to date

    • Which job to take


Do you spend a lot of time deciding what you will do while nothing gets done?


Do it Badly


A way to overcome this indecision is to do it badly


Anything worth doing is worth doing badly the first time

– – GK Chesley


This speeds up your decision making and catapults you straight into action


We often aim for perfection and never end up doing anything because our standards are too high


Doing it badly allows you to

  • Take risks

  • Have more fun during the process

  • Remove the anxiety and replace it with excitement

  • Removes the high standards 


Do it badly and you can improve as you go along


Ordering in a Restaurant 


Different approaches

  • Study ahead of time 

  • Order for me

  • “What are you thinking of getting?”


Just order quickly 

Your Pride 

1 Peter 5:5-7

5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,

7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.



Verse 6 and 7 are one sentence

  • Verse 7 assumes verse 6


You can’t cast your anxiety and keep your pride

  • The pride and the anxiety come in the same package


Anxiety

What’s in the center of the word anxiety?


Look at what is in the center of the word anxiety - “I”

  • You can’t spell anxiety without “I”


At the center of your anxiety is your pride


The reason you are so anxious is because you have you at the center


You have to realize that it’s not your throne


“ I don’t know if I have what it takes“


“I” is also in the middle of pride


The commander is to humble yourself under his mighty hand

  • And when you do the anxiety goes with the pride


Carrying the Weight

Proverbs 12:25

Anxiety in a man's heart weighs it down, But a good word makes it glad.


Maybe you are carrying anxiety that you can’t get rid of because you are wearing a weight that you weren’t meant to bear


It is not a command to cast your anxiety on God… It is a result


If you insist on doing it your way then expect to feel that the weight of the world is on your shoulders because it is



Example: the weight

  • I have flat feet

    • Got shin splints when I walk

    • Couldn’t ski or snowboard

    • Back hurts

  • High blood sugar 

    • My parents had it

    • Medication

  • Sleep apnea

    • Breathing machine 


Fasting

  • Walking

  • Lost 30 pounds


It wasn’t the flat feet it was the weight. 

  • It wasn’t the genetic disposition of my parents having diabetes it was the wait. 

  • It wasn’t the piece of skin in my throat it was the weight.


Anxiety is the fruit but your pride is the root 


Get yourself out of the center


Issues

  • Focused on ourselves 

  • We don’t trust God


Fear

Proverbs 29:25

The fear of man brings a snare, But one who trusts in the LORD will be protected.


Fear of Man

The most powerful fear is the fear of Man


You know that you have fear of man when their opinion matters too much and your decision is based upon seeking to control their reaction.  



False Prophet

Fear turns you into a false prophet. A false prophet is one who predicts the future that never comes.

Fear vs Faith

Fear causes us to look into the future and erase the presence of God. Faith causes us to look into the future and assume the presence of God.


Fear does not lead you into the will of God. 

  • Only faith will lead you into the will of God


People Pleasing

How many of you know people that make you do things you don’t want to do?


2 Corinthians 9:7

Each one must do just as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.


Story: Bob sees a counselor about his “honey-do” list


Who knows what a honey do list is?


Susie makes Bob work all weekend

  • You are choosing to do all of the tasks for her.

  • If you don’t do them you are choosing to take the tongue lashing that she gives. 

  • It is her anger and she is responsible for it.  


Bob wanted her to stop wanting instead of him learning to say no.  


If you are willing to give her four hours a week of your time then tell her that.   

  • Tell her that you understand that that may not be enough time for you to complete all the tasks that she wants you to complete and she is responsible for being creative and satisfying her wants.  

    • She could earn extra money and hire someone

    • She can reduce her wants

    • She could learn how to do it herself


You should give as you choose and she is responsible for the rest.


Bob needs to take responsibility for his limits, not her wants.

  • You should not take responsibility for her wants. 

  • He learned that the world does not exist for her. 


The other person is not responsible for our limits… We are. 

  • Only we know what we want and need to give.    

  • And only we can be responsible for drawing that line.  


We are responsible for our own

  • Wants

  • Limits 


It is not manipulation when you allow the natural consequences to fall on the person who is responsible for it

--- Solutions ---

Philippians 4:6-9

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

Finally brothers and sisters whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything it’s excellent and praiseworthy – think about such things

And the God of peace will be with you

  • Pray

  • Thanksgiving 

  • Focus on whatever is right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy

Prayer


“ All we can do is pray“


Prayer is never our last line of defense. It is our first line of defense.


Prayer

  1. Moves the heart of God

  2. Changes the chemistry in your brain


Moves the heart of God

  • Habakkuk praying against the wall 

  • Moses during the golden calf 

  • Parable of the persistent woman


Prayer changes your brain


Neural plasticity means that our brain is constantly changing and rewiring itself



It has been found that 12 minutes of daily focus prayer over an eight week period. Can change the brain to such an extent that it can be measured on a brain scan

—Switch on your Brain by Dr. Caroline leaf


The same way that toxic and negative thoughts harm your brain prayer can heal your brain.   

  • To transform your brain and renew your mind.

We Take It Back From God

We say God I’m going to pray about this and give it to you. 

  • But because we don’t see what we want to see happening we take it back from God.    


Your God is too small and your worry is too big.   


We take our worries back from God because our God is too small and our worries are too big

Steps to take

  1. Do what you can do

  2. Give God what you can’t do

  3. Trust God no matter what


The practice of gratitude

Philippians 4:6-7

6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.


When you’re in a state of distress you can’t spontaneously focus on things you’re thankful for.


So when you were in a calm state write down the things you are thankful for where they bring you joy

  • Experiences

  • People

  • Material things


Reflect on this list when you begin to worry


Write down the list at the end of each day for the things that happened that day


What Are You Focused On?

Your life is moving in the direction of your strongest thoughts

  • Do you like the direction your thoughts are taking you in



Story: me and the police

  • Side road on 880


You are triggered by certain

  • People

  • Places

  • Events


Negative Self Talk


Do you have negative self talk?


You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you frame it. You can look at life from a negative perspective or you can say God you are good you are faithful and you are true.  


We don’t interpret God through our circumstances, but we interpret our circumstances through the goodness of God.  


Assigning Meaning 

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeyXfark/



Identify the stronghold. 

  • Identify the dominant lie that you are telling yourself. 

  • Replaced it with a spiritual truth from God.  


Practical Steps

  • Write it

  • Think it

  • Confess it

  • Until you believe it



“ I am not hostage to unhealthy thoughts. Because the weapons I fight with are not the weapons of this world. My spiritual weapons have divine power to demolish strongholds. By the power and authority of God I demolish every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. Worry is not my master. God‘s peace guards my heart, my mind and my soul in Christ Jesus. I am not a slave to my habits. I am not a prisoner to my addictions. I am an overcomer by the blood of the lamb and by the words of my testimony. I have been rescued from the power of darkness and led me into the kingdom of life.”


Summary of Practical Steps

  1. Make a quick decision - do it badly

  2. Don't carry the weight - give it to God

  3. Don't take responsibility for others wants

  4. Be responsible for your limits

  5. Pray

  6. Practice of Gratitude

  7. Write it > think it > confess it


Get Closer to God

Matthew 14: 26-31

26 When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out in fear. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.”

28 Peter responded and said to Him, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” 29 And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water, and came toward Jesus. 30 But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and when he began to sink, he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” 31 Immediately Jesus reached out with His hand and took hold of him, and *said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”



When Peter was walking on the water and he was sinking

  • Jesus responded immediately when he yelled out

  • Jesus reached out his hand

  • This means that Peter was close enough to Jesus that Jesus could reach his hand out to save him


It doesn’t matter how well you can walk on water it matters how close you are to Jesus


it doesn’t matter about your ability it matters about your surrender


God will bring you down low enough to let you know that you need them and bring you up high enough to let the world know that he’s with you


Steps

  1. Get closer to Jesus

  2. Focus on Jesus


Peter Walks on Water

https://youtube.com/shorts/5REmOcyUlqU


Teacher: Michael Leadon





References 

When anxiety attacks

Steven Furtick


How to cope with anxiety by Olivia Reames 

TEDx UHasselt


Three tools to manage worry

Dr. Tracy marks


How do you emotionally heal from hurt?

Mark Driscoll Ministries


Calm my anxious mind

Life.Church


Extra



The view you have in the rear view mirror is tinted by the present temperature in the car


The temperature in the car is influenced by what you see out on the road in front of you


Anxiety and Depression

https://www.tiktok.com/@goaltoinspire/video/6894321673797963010