Scriptures:
- Psalms 147:3
- Mark 2:17
- Galatians 1:10
- Matthew 10:28
- Micah 6:8
- Proverbs 18:3
- Matthew 7:1-3
- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17
- Philippians 4:6
- James 3:16
- Ephesians 4:31-32
- Matthew 6:12-15
- Philippians 2:14
Outline:
- Introducing Brokenness
- Review
- Book Discussion
- We’re All Broken
- Fruits of Brokenness
- Conclusion
Introducing Brokenness
Psalms 147:3
3 He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.
In addition to the suffering due to the events happening in the world today, there are some of us who live their lives suffering from the memories of things that happened 10 or 20 or 30 years ago. Still others suffer from the imagination of things that might happen 10 days or 10 years from now. Both of these groups are suffering from wounds of the past.
Life is hard enough to navigate with its present challenges; why get bogged down with extra burdens within your own mind. Wholeness is about being healed emotionally and spiritually, so that you can experience the best possible life today, and make the best decisions to guide your life in the future. It’s about removing the barriers that keep you from fully communing with God.
In this week’s lesson we will look at symptoms indicating not being healed from past wounds. There may be some (like myself previously) who believe that they are whole already. This lesson, and the previous one, are actually directed at you.
In the last lesson, I gave my testimony of the brokenness that I discovered in my own life. This week we will look at more examples of brokenness.
Defining Brokenness
2 Uses of the Word - Brokenness
- The state of having unhealthy thoughts, actions, perceptions, and/or behaviors due to past negative experiences.
- Coming to a state of complete surrender to God because you have reached the end of yourself
Wounded
The state of having unhealthy thoughts, actions, perceptions, and/or behaviors due to past negative experiences.
Not being healed from emotional wounds. Could have been caused by trauma, rejection, depression, a broken heart, death or just as a result of living life.
Surrender
Surrender as a result of breaking your will as a result of bad experiences.
- Rock bottom
- Finally give up trying to do it yourself
You've been beat down by life to the point that you’re finally ready to let God be in control of your life.
No longer relying on your own knowledge or ability.
We will be using the wounded definition in this series.
Everyone’s Broken / Wounded
This and the past lesson are meant to show that everyone is broken in some way.
Last lesson also clarified that I’m broken
Caused by:
- Dysfunctional family
- Abuse
- Bad breakup
- Left in the crib to cry
- Spoiled
Review
Introducing Wholeness
Wholeness is when your life lines up with what God planned for you before the foundations of the earth. Being whole allows God to do everything in your life that He has been waiting for.
Three things happen when wholeness enters our life
- You get a new lease on life
- Breaks generational curses and release generational blessings
- Brings restoration
The fruits of wholeness are:
- Good relationships (male and female)
- Be who God wanted us to be
- Ability to give and receive real love
- Fully accept and receive the love of God
- Confidence
- Honesty
- Living by Values and Principles
- Expressing your feelings clearly and directly
- Setting healthy boundaries
- Living with purpose and passion
- Not seeking approval from others
- Optimism
- Not worried or anxious
- Authenticity
- Vulnerability
- Accepting that God loves you as you are
- Free from addictions
- Not losing control
- Not avoiding conflict
Spiritual Wholeness
Fruits of spiritual wholeness
- Peace
- Joy
- Love
- Patience
- Kindness
- Goodness
- Faithfulness
- Gentleness
- Self-control
- Admitting when you’re wrong
- Give to others with no expectations in return
- Forgiving everyone
Spiritual Wholeness is a result of
- Being Led by the Spirit
- Renewing Your Mind
- Inheriting the Kingdom of God
Led by the Spirit
Being led by the Spirit is hearing the Holy Spirit regularly and obeying
Renewing Your Mind
Renewed mind means you know the will of God and you approve.
Example of fighting couple
- That’s what you think a loving relationship looks like
You feel about sin the way God feels about sin
You feel about people the way Jesus feels about people
Inherit the Kingdom of God
When you have done all of this you have entered into the Kingdom of God
- Obtained the fruits of spiritual wholeness
- Led by the Spirit
- Renewed Your mind
The Process
- The first step is realizing all of the characteristics of yourself...self awareness
- Behaviors
- Beliefs
- Defense mechanisms
- Coping strategies
- Triggers
- Responses
- Identify which of those characteristics are broken or unhealthy
- Where possible identify the cause of the brokenness
- And then we will work on changing our actual nature
Questions
What stood out to you most in the lesson?
Any revelations about yourself in the past two weeks?
Book Discussion
We are using a companion Book: Wholeness by Toure Roberts
Preface
Wholeness is the state of being complete. To be unbroken; having no cracks or missing parts. Wholeness is the highest and healthiest version of any person. A version of you so awesome that to die before experiencing it would be life‘s greatest tragedy.
Until we are made whole on every level we are left leaking. If brokenness never gets resolved over a lifetime it will cost you significantly.
What can not being whole cost you?
Part one: things we tell ourselves that keep us from wholeness
Chapter 1: I thought I was whole already
The most trustworthy diagnoses in life don’t come from external examinations.
- Prioritize your inner over your outer
- Be proactive not passive when pursuing wholeness
Your outer life emanates from your inner life.
There are three groups of people in regards to wholeness
- Those who don’t know they aren’t whole
- Those who know but don’t know what to do about it
- Those who know what to do but are afraid to do it
Which group do you fall in?
What stood out most to you from the book so far?
We’re All Broken
Mark 2:17
And hearing this, Jesus *said to them, “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
When Some people get saved their addictions, and bad attitudes supernaturally go away. They get filled with joy and faith.
Others get saved and nothing changes.
They are still caught up with:
- Alcoholism
- Gossip
- Lying
- Bragging
- Pornography
- Fornication / lust
- Anxiety and worry
- Jealousy and envy
- Anger
- Judgment
- Unforgiveness
We tell them just pray or ask God to take it away. What do we do when they say that that didn’t work?
We all have things that God needs to take away.
Not just talking about sin
That’s Just How I Am
Sometimes we will say that’s just how I am, but it is not.
Brokenness is a root that gives birth to fruit.
Broken at an early age
- Left crying in the crib too long - abandonment
- Unwanted pregnancy - rejection
- Only got parents attention when you were bad - dramatic
Brokenness Impacts Your Christianity
Brokenness keep you from
- Trusting God (faith)
- Accepting the love of God
- Having your identity in Christ
It keeps our focus on ourselves and the things of the world
You will not be able to progress above the level of your unresolved brokenness.
- Christianity
- Life
How can Brokenness impact your walk with Christ?
Fruits of Brokenness
We’re Not Solving The Issues Today
Today we’re going to identify some of the things that wholeness will remove/fix.
You’re asking about the symptoms
- anger
Example: go to doctor with gunshot
- asking for pain medicine
- Really tired all the time
Some of the fruits of brokenness include
- Overly Worried about the opinions of others
- Not authentic
- Don’t live by morals and principles
- Lying
- Unkind
- Contempt
- Negative assumptions
- Complacency
- Being judgmental
- Ungratefulness
- Irrational Fear
- Jealousy & Envy
- Uncontrollable Anger
- Failure to forgive
- Always Complaining
Overly Worried About the Opinions of Others
Galatians 1:10
10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
- You can’t fully serve Christ if you’re seeking the approval of others
- “I would not be a servant of Christ”
“What will they think about me”?
I bet they think that I’m …
Why did I say that?
Example: first came to bible study
- Wanted to show how much I knew
- Say “churchy” answers that didn’t reflect my life
2 Types of People
- Worried about everyone’s opinion
- Only worried about the opinions of strangers
- Don’t care about your feelings
- Try really hard to impress you in the beginning
Which one are you?
Reputation
Reputation is important,
- But too much worry is unhealthy
It’s an issue if it causes any of the other fruits of brokenness
Not Authentic
Matthew 10:28
28Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
When you’re whole you aren’t afraid to say what you think because what you think is the right thing
“Keepin’ it 100”
Some people are authentically broken.
- The goal is to be healed and authentic.
Lying
White lies to avoid the response of others
Some people will say anything and seem not to care what people think of them
- But they lie if something makes them look “bad”
Example: “I’ll be there in 10 minutes”
Don’t Live By Morals and Principles
Chameleon
You let the opinions of others determine what’s right and wrong
- Eggshells
- Did I text the right thing
FB post - other people judge whether it was a good post
Unkind
Micah 6:8
8He has told you, O man, what is good;
- And what does the LORD require of you
- But to do justice, to love kindness,
- And to walk humbly with your God?
Authentic and speak their mind
There are people that don’t care about others feelings
- Mean and nasty
Contempt
Proverbs 18:3
3When a wicked man comes, contempt also comes,
And with dishonor comes scorn.
The feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.
- Dishonor
Even with the person did what was right in your eyes it wouldn’t be enough
Example: Many people have contempt for politicians.
“I hate when he does that”
“She always…”
Negative Assumptions
Every time someone does something you question their motives. Even people who you have no history with.
Example: that homeless person is just going to spend the money on alcohol
“All men are dogs”
When you have been devalued, heart hurt and betrayed you’re probably going to have negative assumptions.
Complacency
This person doesn’t even try...
- Understand
- Nice
- Change
“If you want me you just have to take me how I am”
They try something at a young age and are successful so they just gave up. They have fear or a bunch of doubt.
Being Judgmental
Matthew 7:1-3
1“Do not judge so that you will not be judged. 2“For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. 3“Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
To judge is to proclaim or imply that something is bad or good.
- Right or wrong
Always pointing out what someone else is doing wrong. Tearing down instead of building up.
“You’re doing that wrong”
- You are judging things that don’t need your judgment
“Karen”
Gender difference
- Women: to offer help is being loving
- Men: to offer help is to assume incompetence
Ungratefulness
1 Thessalonians 5:16-17
16Rejoice always; 17pray without ceasing; 18in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Take everything for granted. Focus on what you don’t have.
Irrational Fear
Philippians 4:6
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Always imagining the worst scenario and spending your focus, energy and attention to it.
You are setting your mind on things of the enemy
Jealousy and Envy
James 3:16
16For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.
Envy means "the longing for something someone else has without any ill will intended toward that person."
Jealousy is the resentment or a grudge you feel towards the person due to coveting what that person has or enjoys." It could be success, opportunities, relationships or anything else that you desire but feel you don’t have.
When referring to romantic feelings, "jealous" can be used to mean "possessively suspicious" of someone else.
Uncontrollable Anger
Ephesians 4:31-32
31Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Don’t be out of control
Self-control
Failure to forgive
Matthew 6:12-15
12‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’]
14“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15“But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
- Holding grudges
Someone wronged you in the past. Perhaps they took your innocence, peace, trust, loyalty, belongings or . You allow that to skew your view of the world and other people.
Always Complaining
Philippians 2:14
14Do all things without grumbling or disputing;
Some people can find something negative about everything
Conclusion
Once you get delivered from the brokenness, the fruit goes away.
Many people would rather cover up and build a false identity instead of dealing with their brokenness.
Some people may not want to recognize that their traits are the result of brokenness.
“ You’ve heard it said, The truth will set you free. That is true because it burns everything that is not worthy of it.
We have an internal voice inside of us that tells us not to do something yet we do it anyway.
There’s no shortage of brokenness in us to be healed. There is no shortage to parts of us that need to be burned away. Maybe that is why Moses encountered God in a burning bush. There’s no shortage of pain when we encounter that brokenness.
What’s the decision that you make? You decide to believe and take a risk. And act on faith. You believe that the truth will set you free. You believe that people have an intrinsic divinity about their soul. You decide that you are going to live in that manner and let everything in yourself that isn’t worthy of that goal die. And that might be almost everything that you are. And that’s a terrible thing to contemplate. The only thing that’s worse… Is the alternative. Because the alternative is the source of hell that we have produced in our world.”
--Jordan Peterson
Presenter: Michael Leadon
References
Wholeness
Toure Roberts
Where does Brokenness come from?
Fruits of brokenness
How to Let Go of Past Experiences
Deep wounds, deep healing
Extra
Low self esteem
Self image is how you see yourself.
Self esteem is how you feel about it.
Self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself overall; how much esteem, positive regard or self-love you have.
Self-confidence is how you feel about your abilities and can vary from situation to situation.
Example: I’m an engineer
- I’m socially awkward and women won’t like me
- I’m smart and will always have a job
Some people identify low self esteem as being a badge of a good Christian
You can have high self esteem and prioritize the happiness of others over your own
Arrogant people think the world revolves around them
Bible says esteem others as higher than you
- Not by lowering your view of yourself
- But by raising your view of everyone else (even the homeless)
Philippians 2:3 Don’t act out of selfish ambition or be conceited. Instead, humbly think of others as being better than yourselves.
1 Samuel 16:7
7But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Proverbs 17:13 Evil will never leave the house of one who pays back evil for good.
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