Thursday, February 13, 2025

Traits of Wholeness

 



What does it look like to be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy?




Outline 

  • Introduction

  • Traits of Wholeness

  • Wholeness is Revealed in Adversity


Scriptures:

  • Galatians 5:22-23

  • Colossians 3:9-10

  • Proverbs 22:9

  • Matthew 6:1

  • Proverbs 10:9

  • Ephesians 4:1

  • Romans 8:23-25

  • Psalms 118:6

  • 1 Corinthians 6:12

  • Ephesians 4:31-32

  • 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

  • Matthew 7: 1-5

  • 1 Corinthians 3:2-3

  • Colossians 3:12-13

  • Jeremiah 31:3 

  • 2 Timothy 1:7

  • Philippians 4:6-9

  • Philippians 2:3-4

  • Proverbs 14:21

  • Exodus 23:2

  • Proverbs 19:11

  • Proverbs 18:2

  • 1 Peter 2:17

  • Proverbs 18:1

  • Colossians 4:6

  • Phillippians 2:3-4

  • Colossians 3:13

  • Matthew 22:37-40

  • Romans 8:14




Introduction


Galatians 5:22-23

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

  • These are the fruits of the Holy Spirit

  • These are the evidence of the Holy Spirit

  • These are the attributes that’s a Holy Spirit can endowed us with


Yet we all know a Christian who are struggling with at least one of these traits

  • You guys are thinking “I am the Christian“


Even though we know how the Bible tells us to act… We often don’t do it


That doesn’t mean that we are saved, but it means that we brought into our Christianity baggage from the world

  • Childhood

  • parents

  • Romantic relationships


Seeking Wholeness

Wholeness is about being _______ healthy

  • spiritually

  • emotionally

  • Mentally


Mental health includes your emotional, social, and psychological wellness. It helps determine how you 

  • handle stress

  • relate to others, 

  • make healthy choices.


Free from oppression of

  • Our past

  • Bad thinking

  • Strongholds

  • The enemy


We’re talking about 

  • dealing with life’s current stresses 

  • being healed from experiences/wounds of the past 


Through this 4.5 year series we have identified traits that we defined as the goal for wholeness




We will go through our list one by one and

  • Give any thoughts you remember from the lesson

  • Challenge whether you should be on the list


Not necessarily going to give you all the steps of healing today for each trait

Traits of Wholeness

Traits of Wholeness

  1. Authenticity 

  2. Honesty

  3. Kindness

  4. Behavior not influenced by external approval / validation 

  5. Living by values and principles 

  6. Setting Boundaries

  7. Taking ownership of your responsibilities

  8. Living with purpose and passion

  9. Optimism 

  10. Confidence

  11. Not losing control of your emotions

  12. Free from addictions

  13. Addressing Conflict with truth and love

  14. Vulnerability 

  15. Not critical or Judgemental 

  16. Not jealous of others

  17. Forgive those who have wronged you in the past

  18. Know that you’re worthy of receiving love

  19. Not afraid to fail

  20. Able to manage irrational fear, worry, and anxiety 

    1. Able to maintain a non-anxious presence in the midst of anxiety and stress

  21. Selfless encounters with others

  22. Not manipulating others trying to control their actions

  23. You care about how others feel 

    1. And can feel it

  24. Patient

  25. Don’t give into peer/social pressure

  26. Can communicate without antagonizing others

    1. You can complain respectfully

  27. Recognize, manage, and take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings

  28. Slow to anger

    1. Not easily triggered

  29. Ability to maturely express your wants, needs and desires

  30. Can listen without reacting

  31. Can respect others without having to change them

  32. Can function well… Alone or with others

  33. Able to take responsibility for your own destiny in life

  34. Has the capacity to resolve conflict maturely

    1. you “fight fair“

  35. Able to negotiate solutions and take other people's perspectives into consideration

  36. Give people room to make mistakes and not be perfect

  37. Love God

  38. Love your neighbor

  39. Pray and spend time with God

  40. You are led by the Spirit


Today we will discuss each of them.


I’m looking for you to tell what you learned about it from this series.


1 Authenticity

Being authentic means to be true to who you are, your values, your talents, your feelings, your intuition, your passions. We've all been inauthentic, probably many times in our lives. We try to be what we think (or know) someone else wants us to be. We put on masks of perfectionism and pleasing.


Don’t have to be a chameleon

  • Work

  • Church

  • Close friends


Values change


Jeremiah 17:9

“The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?


The Goal of a Christian should be to become the person that God sees you as


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2 Honesty

Colossians 3:9-10

 9[g]Do not lie to one another, since you stripped off the old [h]self with its evil practices, 10and have put on the new self, which is being [i]renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created it—


Sword of the Spirit

  • Belt of truth


This is how we fight against Satan

3 Kindness

Proverbs 22:9

9One who [d]is generous will be blessed,

Because he gives some of his food to the poor.


Is there anyone who would describe as kind?

4 Behavior not influenced by external approval / validation 

Matthew 6:1

1“Take care not to practice your righteousness in the sight of people, to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.


Fear of Man


You know that you have fear of man when their opinion matters too much and your decision is based upon seeking to control their reaction.  


Your mood doesn’t change based on how many likes you get on social media


5 Living by values and principles 

Proverbs 10:9

9One who walks in integrity walks securely,

But one who perverts his ways will be found out.


Not prioritizing

  • The outcome

  • Money

  • Reputation

  • Convenience

  • Avoiding conflict


Would you do the same thing if no one knew


Example: you said you’d do it

  • Not convenient anymore

  • They made you mad

  • It will impact your job


6 Set Boundaries 

What are some examples of boundaries?



https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFYC9owJE7b/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

  • What you will do

  • They don’t need to do anything


People pleasing is trying to control other people’s emotions


A boundary allows the consequences of an action or in action to fall upon the person whose responsibility it is


7 Taking ownership of your responsibilities

  • Especially emotionally


You don’t expect someone else to 

  • Make you happy

  • Respond to your bad day


Are you putting unfair expectations on your

  • Church

  • Kid’s school

  • Partner

  • Boss 

8 Living with purpose and passion

Ephesians 4:1

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.


“When man can't find meaning in his life, he distracts himself with pleasure”

—Viktor Frankl

9 Optimism

Hope

Glass half full


Optimism involves seeing potential opportunities and believing in positive outcomes, even in difficult situations, which aligns with the ability to manage emotions effectively.   According to research, optimism is linked to better physical and mental health outcomes. It can also promote a sense of well-being during difficult times.



Romans 8:24-25

 24 For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? 25But if we hope for what we do not see, through perseverance we wait eagerly for it.


Biblical optimism does not place so much emphasis on earthly events. It can accept difficult circumstances because it believes that “all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). Godly hope looks beyond what we understand to view life from God’s perspective.



Armor of God


10 Confidence

Psalms 118:6

The LORD is for me; I will not fear; What can man do to me?


David (vs Goliath)


Personal mastery

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CzOhYJQt2pB/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==


11 Not losing control of your emotions

  • Self control


Don’t believe everything you think

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4_LhKtLppp/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==


12. Free from addictions

1 Corinthians 6:12

12All things are permitted for me, but not all things are of benefit. All things are permitted for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.


  • Self control


13 Addressing Conflict with truth and love

Ephesians 4:31-32

 31 All bitterness, wrath, anger, [x]clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. 32Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven [y]you.


No need to raise your voice or curse


14 Vulnerability

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

 9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast [c]about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10 Therefore I delight in weaknesses, in [d]insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in difficulties, in behalf of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.


Brene Brown defines vulnerability not as weakness, but as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” It’s not just unburdening yourself in confession, it’s exposing yourself to risk for the sake of others. It’s sharing your struggles, but also speaking truth in love.


transparency is me giving you information about myself

Vulnerability is me giving you information that you could use to hurt me


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15 Not critical or Judgemental

Matthew 7: 1-5

1“Do not [a]judge, so that you will not be judged. 2For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and [b]by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. 3Why do you look at the [c]speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4Or how [d]can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the [e]speck out of your eye,’ and look, the log is in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the [f]speck out of your brother’s eye!


People who are judgmental of others are usually extremely judgmental of themselves.


Judging is not OK just because it’s “righteous“. You should not be passing judgment to determine whether or not it is righteous. You are applying your standard of what it means to be a “good person”. Or a “good Christian“. For yourself, your measurement of whether you are a good Christian is based on whether or not you sin, and therefore you are judging other peoples Christianity based on their sin.


It is not that when the person lied it wasn’t the sin. But it was the fact that you are passing a moral judgment on this other person when their actions have nothing to do with you.

16 Not jealous of others

1 Corinthians 3:2-3

2 I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to consume it. But even now you are not yet able, 3 for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like ordinary people?

17 Forgive those who have wronged you in the past

Colossians 3:12-13

12So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and [l]patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also.


Unforgiveness is bad for your health

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8h4jwbPwQK/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==


18 Know that you’re worthy of receiving love

Jeremiah 31:3 

3The LORD appeared to [a]him [b]long ago, saying,

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;

Therefore I have drawn you out with kindness.


19 Not afraid to fail

2 Timothy 1:7

7 For God has not given us a spirit of [f]timidity, but of power and love and [g]discipline.


Self worth is not dependent on you being perfect


Growth mindset

  • You can influence the outcome

  • God can influence the outcome

  • You aren’t defined by the outcome


20 Able to manage irrational fear, worry, and anxiety 

Philippians 4:6-9

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 As for the things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.



The peace of God will guard your heart


Solution: prayer



False Prophet

Fear turns you into a false prophet. A false prophet is one who predicts the future that never comes.

Fear vs Faith

Fear causes us to look into the future and assume the absence of God. 

Faith causes us to look into the future and assume the presence of God.


Anxiety

  •  Able to maintain a non-anxious presence in the midst of anxiety and stress


Anxiety is apprehension about the future


Think positive thoughts when you get negative thoughts

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CzZVBjetTVj/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==


Faith in God

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5wMMABPYCY/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==


21 Selfless encounters with others

Philippians 2:3-4

3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

22 Not manipulating others trying to control their actions


Manipulation means pressuring others, sometimes in sneaky ways, to get what you want. The person doing the manipulating, called the manipulator, seeks to be in control. They're usually very good at reading emotions but use that skill to pick up on your weaknesses and take advantage of you.

—WebMD



Manipulation is when they focus on how you reacted instead of how they treated you


Self-pity apologies 

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C74RzfKN-VC/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==



23 You care about how others feel 

Proverbs 14:21

21One who despises his neighbor sins,

But one who is gracious to the [g]poor is blessed.


“You have a right to your feelings, but your feelings don’t make you right“


24 Patient

  • Fruit of the spirit


the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset


Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights to fight Satan for one moment


pray that you don’t rush into things that God is calling you to wait on 

  • Pray that you don’t become bitter while you wait

  • Pray that you don’t become prideful while you wait


25 Don’t give into peer/social pressure

Exodus 23:2

2You shall not follow [a]the crowd in doing evil, nor shall you [b]testify in a dispute so as to join together with [c]a crowd in order to pervert justice; 3nor shall you [d]show favor to a poor person in his dispute.


26 Can communicate without antagonizing others

  • You can complain respectfully


Some ways you might be antagonizing others

  1. Always center of attention

  2. Often using sarcasm

  3. Always playing devil’s advocate

  4. Seldom apologize

  5. Quick to criticise

  6. Struggle with active listening

  7. You dominate conversations

  8. You often interrupt others

  9. You lack empathy


27 Recognize, manage, and take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings 


essentially, it's about practicing emotional self-awareness and accountability


No one can “make you mad”

28 Slow to anger

  • Not easily triggered


Proverbs 19:11

11A person’s discretion makes him slow to anger,

And it is his glory to overlook an offense.


29 Ability to maturely express your wants, needs and desires

  • Directly

  • Able to ask for what you need want or prefer clearly, directly and honestly


If the response is above a five

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8YBgPGP/


30 Can listen without reacting

  • Emotional reactivity


Proverbs 18:2

2A fool does not delight in understanding,

But in revealing his own [b]mind.


31 Can respect others without having to change them

1 Peter 2:17

 17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the [u]king.


The assumption is that you have different beliefs


This ultimately comes down to judgment

  • Are you judging them as unworthy of respect


It seems to me that there are probably in every culture ways to show respect for people as people but not for what they stand for.

– John Piper


32 Can function well… Alone or with others


self love



“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” 

Blaise Pascal, Pensées


example: sleep with the TV on


Social Isolation

Proverbs 18:1

1One who separates himself seeks his own desire;

He [a]quarrels against all sound wisdom.


our brains are wired for social interaction and when you don’t get it you lose nerve connections to some parts of the brain


social isolation increases the risk of cognitive decline

  • Think and process information slower

  • Trouble finding words

  • Feeling mentally tired and draggy

    • Even though you haven’t done anything


your brain has the potential to rewire itself and to form new connections

  • neuroplasticity


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33 Able to take responsibility for your own destiny in life

Growth mindset


Not

  • Victim mentality

  • Blaming others

  • Depending on 


Biblical concepts

  • Free will

  • Sowing and reaping


Although we should be looking to God for guidance


34 Has the capacity to resolve conflict maturely

  • you “fight fair“


Colossians 4:6

 6Your speech must always be [c]with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.


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35 Able to negotiate solutions and take other people's perspectives into consideration

Phillippians 2:3-4

3Do nothing [c]from [d]selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; 4do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.


36 Give people room to make mistakes and not be perfect

Colossians 3:13

12So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and [l]patience; 13bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also. 


Example: Everyone has to do it your way

  • Squeeze of toothpaste

  • Toilet paper

  • Toilet seat

37  Love God 

Matthew 22:37-40

37And He said to him, “‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ 38This is the great and [u]foremost commandment. 39The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ 40Upon these two commandments [v]hang the whole Law and the Prophets.”

  • From Leviticus 19:18


38 You Love Your Neighbor

Good Samaritan


Loving your neighbor as yourself means looking out for their well-being, being kind, and helping others. 

39 Pray and spend time with God


https://www.instagram.com/reel/DF59YeoBO4Z/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==


40 Being led by the Spirit

Romans 8:14

 14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons and daughters of God.


The Sword of the Spirit


Being led by the Holy Spirit is a central part of the Christian faith, and it means following the guidance of God. It involves listening to the Spirit, obeying God's will, and yielding to the Spirit's guidance instead of one's own desires. 


Wholeness is Revealed in Adversity


Your “wholeness” is revealed based on your response to adversity


“Are you healed or are you self isolating so that you don’t get triggered”?


Resilience 


A man is revealed when he faces adversity

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DF2t-VlODzD/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==


Instructor: Michael Leadon



Extra



Tips

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAFTcM0J_f5/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==




1 Peter 3:8-9 (NASB20) 8 To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble; 9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you would inherit a blessing.


Philippians 4:11-13 (NASB20) 

11 Not that I speak from need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. 12 I know how to get along with little, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. 13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.


Watch what you focus on

https://www.instagram.com/reel/ChlE7EkDIIY/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==


Psalms 141

5May the righteous strike me with mercy and discipline me;

It is oil for the head;

My head shall not refuse it,

For my prayer is still against their evil deeds.





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