Outline
Introduction
Traits of Wholeness
Wholeness is Revealed in Adversity
Scriptures:
Galatians 5:22-23
Colossians 3:9-10
Proverbs 22:9
Matthew 6:1
Proverbs 10:9
Ephesians 4:1
Romans 8:23-25
Psalms 118:6
1 Corinthians 6:12
Ephesians 4:31-32
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
Matthew 7: 1-5
1 Corinthians 3:2-3
Colossians 3:12-13
Jeremiah 31:3
2 Timothy 1:7
Philippians 4:6-9
Philippians 2:3-4
Proverbs 14:21
Exodus 23:2
Proverbs 19:11
Proverbs 18:2
1 Peter 2:17
Proverbs 18:1
Colossians 4:6
Phillippians 2:3-4
Colossians 3:13
Matthew 22:37-40
Romans 8:14
Introduction
Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
These are the fruits of the Holy Spirit
These are the evidence of the Holy Spirit
These are the attributes that’s a Holy Spirit can endowed us with
Yet we all know a Christian who are struggling with at least one of these traits
You guys are thinking “I am the Christian“
Even though we know how the Bible tells us to act… We often don’t do it
That doesn’t mean that we are saved, but it means that we brought into our Christianity baggage from the world
Childhood
parents
Romantic relationships
Seeking Wholeness
Wholeness is about being _______ healthy
spiritually
emotionally
Mentally
Mental health includes your emotional, social, and psychological wellness. It helps determine how you
handle stress
relate to others,
make healthy choices.
Free from oppression of
Our past
Bad thinking
Strongholds
The enemy
We’re talking about
dealing with life’s current stresses
being healed from experiences/wounds of the past
Through this 4.5 year series we have identified traits that we defined as the goal for wholeness
We will go through our list one by one and
Give any thoughts you remember from the lesson
Challenge whether you should be on the list
Not necessarily going to give you all the steps of healing today for each trait
Traits of Wholeness
Traits of Wholeness
Authenticity
Honesty
Kindness
Behavior not influenced by external approval / validation
Living by values and principles
Setting Boundaries
Taking ownership of your responsibilities
Living with purpose and passion
Optimism
Confidence
Not losing control of your emotions
Free from addictions
Addressing Conflict with truth and love
Vulnerability
Not critical or Judgemental
Not jealous of others
Forgive those who have wronged you in the past
Know that you’re worthy of receiving love
Not afraid to fail
Able to manage irrational fear, worry, and anxiety
Able to maintain a non-anxious presence in the midst of anxiety and stress
Selfless encounters with others
Not manipulating others trying to control their actions
You care about how others feel
And can feel it
Patient
Don’t give into peer/social pressure
Can communicate without antagonizing others
You can complain respectfully
Recognize, manage, and take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings
Slow to anger
Not easily triggered
Ability to maturely express your wants, needs and desires
Can listen without reacting
Can respect others without having to change them
Can function well… Alone or with others
Able to take responsibility for your own destiny in life
Has the capacity to resolve conflict maturely
you “fight fair“
Able to negotiate solutions and take other people's perspectives into consideration
Give people room to make mistakes and not be perfect
Love God
Love your neighbor
Pray and spend time with God
You are led by the Spirit
Today we will discuss each of them.
I’m looking for you to tell what you learned about it from this series.
1 Authenticity
Being authentic means to be true to who you are, your values, your talents, your feelings, your intuition, your passions. We've all been inauthentic, probably many times in our lives. We try to be what we think (or know) someone else wants us to be. We put on masks of perfectionism and pleasing.
Don’t have to be a chameleon
Work
Church
Close friends
Values change
Jeremiah 17:9
“The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?
The Goal of a Christian should be to become the person that God sees you as
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2 Honesty
Colossians 3:9-10
9[g]Do not lie to one another, since you stripped off the old [h]self with its evil practices, 10and have put on the new self, which is being [i]renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created it—
Sword of the Spirit
Belt of truth
This is how we fight against Satan
3 Kindness
Proverbs 22:9
9One who [d]is generous will be blessed,
Because he gives some of his food to the poor.
Is there anyone who would describe as kind?
4 Behavior not influenced by external approval / validation
Matthew 6:1
1“Take care not to practice your righteousness in the sight of people, to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.
Fear of Man
You know that you have fear of man when their opinion matters too much and your decision is based upon seeking to control their reaction.
Your mood doesn’t change based on how many likes you get on social media
5 Living by values and principles
Proverbs 10:9
9One who walks in integrity walks securely,
But one who perverts his ways will be found out.
Not prioritizing
The outcome
Money
Reputation
Convenience
Avoiding conflict
Would you do the same thing if no one knew
Example: you said you’d do it
Not convenient anymore
They made you mad
It will impact your job
6 Set Boundaries
What are some examples of boundaries?
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFYC9owJE7b/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
What you will do
They don’t need to do anything
People pleasing is trying to control other people’s emotions
A boundary allows the consequences of an action or in action to fall upon the person whose responsibility it is
7 Taking ownership of your responsibilities
Especially emotionally
You don’t expect someone else to
Make you happy
Respond to your bad day
Are you putting unfair expectations on your
Church
Kid’s school
Partner
Boss
8 Living with purpose and passion
Ephesians 4:1
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
“When man can't find meaning in his life, he distracts himself with pleasure”
—Viktor Frankl
9 Optimism
Hope
Glass half full
Optimism involves seeing potential opportunities and believing in positive outcomes, even in difficult situations, which aligns with the ability to manage emotions effectively. According to research, optimism is linked to better physical and mental health outcomes. It can also promote a sense of well-being during difficult times.
Romans 8:24-25
24 For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? 25But if we hope for what we do not see, through perseverance we wait eagerly for it.
Biblical optimism does not place so much emphasis on earthly events. It can accept difficult circumstances because it believes that “all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). Godly hope looks beyond what we understand to view life from God’s perspective.
Armor of God
10 Confidence
Psalms 118:6
The LORD is for me; I will not fear; What can man do to me?
David (vs Goliath)
Personal mastery
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CzOhYJQt2pB/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
11 Not losing control of your emotions
Self control
Don’t believe everything you think
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4_LhKtLppp/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
12. Free from addictions
1 Corinthians 6:12
12All things are permitted for me, but not all things are of benefit. All things are permitted for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.
Self control
13 Addressing Conflict with truth and love
Ephesians 4:31-32
31 All bitterness, wrath, anger, [x]clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. 32Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven [y]you.
No need to raise your voice or curse
14 Vulnerability
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast [c]about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10 Therefore I delight in weaknesses, in [d]insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in difficulties, in behalf of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
Brene Brown defines vulnerability not as weakness, but as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” It’s not just unburdening yourself in confession, it’s exposing yourself to risk for the sake of others. It’s sharing your struggles, but also speaking truth in love.
transparency is me giving you information about myself
Vulnerability is me giving you information that you could use to hurt me
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15 Not critical or Judgemental
Matthew 7: 1-5
1“Do not [a]judge, so that you will not be judged. 2For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and [b]by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. 3Why do you look at the [c]speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4Or how [d]can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the [e]speck out of your eye,’ and look, the log is in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the [f]speck out of your brother’s eye!
People who are judgmental of others are usually extremely judgmental of themselves.
Judging is not OK just because it’s “righteous“. You should not be passing judgment to determine whether or not it is righteous. You are applying your standard of what it means to be a “good person”. Or a “good Christian“. For yourself, your measurement of whether you are a good Christian is based on whether or not you sin, and therefore you are judging other peoples Christianity based on their sin.
It is not that when the person lied it wasn’t the sin. But it was the fact that you are passing a moral judgment on this other person when their actions have nothing to do with you.
16 Not jealous of others
1 Corinthians 3:2-3
2 I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to consume it. But even now you are not yet able, 3 for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like ordinary people?
17 Forgive those who have wronged you in the past
Colossians 3:12-13
12So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and [l]patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also.
Unforgiveness is bad for your health
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8h4jwbPwQK/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
18 Know that you’re worthy of receiving love
Jeremiah 31:3
3The LORD appeared to [a]him [b]long ago, saying,
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore I have drawn you out with kindness.
19 Not afraid to fail
2 Timothy 1:7
7 For God has not given us a spirit of [f]timidity, but of power and love and [g]discipline.
Self worth is not dependent on you being perfect
Growth mindset
You can influence the outcome
God can influence the outcome
You aren’t defined by the outcome
20 Able to manage irrational fear, worry, and anxiety
Philippians 4:6-9
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 As for the things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
The peace of God will guard your heart
Solution: prayer
False Prophet
Fear turns you into a false prophet. A false prophet is one who predicts the future that never comes.
Fear vs Faith
Fear causes us to look into the future and assume the absence of God.
Faith causes us to look into the future and assume the presence of God.
Anxiety
Able to maintain a non-anxious presence in the midst of anxiety and stress
Anxiety is apprehension about the future
Think positive thoughts when you get negative thoughts
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CzZVBjetTVj/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Faith in God
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5wMMABPYCY/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
21 Selfless encounters with others
Philippians 2:3-4
3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
22 Not manipulating others trying to control their actions
Manipulation means pressuring others, sometimes in sneaky ways, to get what you want. The person doing the manipulating, called the manipulator, seeks to be in control. They're usually very good at reading emotions but use that skill to pick up on your weaknesses and take advantage of you.
—WebMD
Manipulation is when they focus on how you reacted instead of how they treated you
Self-pity apologies
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C74RzfKN-VC/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
23 You care about how others feel
Proverbs 14:21
21One who despises his neighbor sins,
But one who is gracious to the [g]poor is blessed.
“You have a right to your feelings, but your feelings don’t make you right“
24 Patient
Fruit of the spirit
the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset
Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights to fight Satan for one moment
pray that you don’t rush into things that God is calling you to wait on
Pray that you don’t become bitter while you wait
Pray that you don’t become prideful while you wait
25 Don’t give into peer/social pressure
Exodus 23:2
2You shall not follow [a]the crowd in doing evil, nor shall you [b]testify in a dispute so as to join together with [c]a crowd in order to pervert justice; 3nor shall you [d]show favor to a poor person in his dispute.
26 Can communicate without antagonizing others
You can complain respectfully
Some ways you might be antagonizing others
Always center of attention
Often using sarcasm
Always playing devil’s advocate
Seldom apologize
Quick to criticise
Struggle with active listening
You dominate conversations
You often interrupt others
You lack empathy
27 Recognize, manage, and take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings
essentially, it's about practicing emotional self-awareness and accountability
No one can “make you mad”
28 Slow to anger
Not easily triggered
Proverbs 19:11
11A person’s discretion makes him slow to anger,
And it is his glory to overlook an offense.
29 Ability to maturely express your wants, needs and desires
Directly
Able to ask for what you need want or prefer clearly, directly and honestly
If the response is above a five
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8YBgPGP/
30 Can listen without reacting
Emotional reactivity
Proverbs 18:2
2A fool does not delight in understanding,
But in revealing his own [b]mind.
31 Can respect others without having to change them
1 Peter 2:17
17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the [u]king.
The assumption is that you have different beliefs
This ultimately comes down to judgment
Are you judging them as unworthy of respect
It seems to me that there are probably in every culture ways to show respect for people as people but not for what they stand for.
– John Piper
32 Can function well… Alone or with others
self love
“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
― Blaise Pascal, Pensées
example: sleep with the TV on
Social Isolation
Proverbs 18:1
1One who separates himself seeks his own desire;
He [a]quarrels against all sound wisdom.
our brains are wired for social interaction and when you don’t get it you lose nerve connections to some parts of the brain
social isolation increases the risk of cognitive decline
Think and process information slower
Trouble finding words
Feeling mentally tired and draggy
Even though you haven’t done anything
your brain has the potential to rewire itself and to form new connections
neuroplasticity
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33 Able to take responsibility for your own destiny in life
Growth mindset
Not
Victim mentality
Blaming others
Depending on
Biblical concepts
Free will
Sowing and reaping
Although we should be looking to God for guidance
34 Has the capacity to resolve conflict maturely
you “fight fair“
Colossians 4:6
6Your speech must always be [c]with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.
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35 Able to negotiate solutions and take other people's perspectives into consideration
Phillippians 2:3-4
3Do nothing [c]from [d]selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; 4do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
36 Give people room to make mistakes and not be perfect
Colossians 3:13
12So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and [l]patience; 13bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also.
Example: Everyone has to do it your way
Squeeze of toothpaste
Toilet paper
Toilet seat
37 Love God
Matthew 22:37-40
37And He said to him, “‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ 38This is the great and [u]foremost commandment. 39The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ 40Upon these two commandments [v]hang the whole Law and the Prophets.”
From Leviticus 19:18
38 You Love Your Neighbor
Good Samaritan
Loving your neighbor as yourself means looking out for their well-being, being kind, and helping others.
39 Pray and spend time with God
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DF59YeoBO4Z/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
40 Being led by the Spirit
Romans 8:14
14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons and daughters of God.
The Sword of the Spirit
Being led by the Holy Spirit is a central part of the Christian faith, and it means following the guidance of God. It involves listening to the Spirit, obeying God's will, and yielding to the Spirit's guidance instead of one's own desires.
Wholeness is Revealed in Adversity
Your “wholeness” is revealed based on your response to adversity
“Are you healed or are you self isolating so that you don’t get triggered”?
Resilience
A man is revealed when he faces adversity
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DF2t-VlODzD/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Instructor: Michael Leadon
Extra
Tips
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAFTcM0J_f5/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
1 Peter 3:8-9 (NASB20) 8 To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble; 9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you would inherit a blessing.
Philippians 4:11-13 (NASB20)
11 Not that I speak from need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. 12 I know how to get along with little, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. 13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
Watch what you focus on
https://www.instagram.com/reel/ChlE7EkDIIY/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Psalms 141
5May the righteous strike me with mercy and discipline me;
It is oil for the head;
My head shall not refuse it,
For my prayer is still against their evil deeds.
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