Emotionally Healthy Christianity

 

The path to emotional and spiritual health.

~~ Watch the Video ~~

Outline:

• Introduction
• Traits of Wholeness
• Measuring Your Emotional Health (Review)
• Emotionally Healthy Christianity
• Loving God
• Loving Your Neighbor
• Steps Toward Emotional Healing

Scriptures:

• Matthew 22:36-40
• Proverbs 15:28
• Matthew 12:34-35
• Genesis 31:4-9
• 2 Timothy 4:9-10
• Acts 2:42
• Psalms 101:3
• Proverbs 18:21
• Philippians 4:8
• 1 Corinthians 15:33
• Colossians 3:12-13
• Proverbs 16:32
• Proverbs 15:22-23

Introduction

When you squeeze a lemon what comes out?

• Lemon juice

When you squeeze a Christian what comes out?

SHALT

The real test of your emotional and spiritual maturity happens when

• You are driving and someone cut you off
• Someone you love makes you mad
• When all your family gets together
• Someone at work lies on you
• Someone disrespects you
• Someone embarrasses you
• Someone threatens you
• Someone ignores you

Matthew 22:36-40

36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And He said to him, “‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ 38 “This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 “The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ 40 “Upon these two commandments hang the whole Law and the Prophets.”

You can know the theology, but when you get into the area of relationships it becomes difficult.  

This commitment to relationships puts flesh on our theology

We need to call people to live out a theology that is grounded in the here and now

Traits of Wholeness

We are in our series called Seeking Wholeness

How can we be:

• Spiritually healthy
• Emotionally healthy
• Mentally healthy

Free from oppression of

• Our past
• Ourself
• Bad thinking
• Strongholds
• The enemy

We’re talking about

• dealing with life’s current stresses
• being healed from experiences/wounds of the past

We’re promised eternal life

• We’re supposed to have: joy, peace, patience, and self control here on earth

Today we’re going to talk about spiritual growth and emotional growth

Traits of Wholeness

• Authenticity
• Honesty
• Kindness
• Not dependent on external approval / validation
• Living by values and principles
• Setting Boundaries
• Taking ownership of your responsibilities
• Living with purpose and passion
• Optimism
• Confidence
• Not losing control of your emotions
• Free from addictions
• Addressing Conflict with truth and love
• Vulnerability
• Not critical or Judgemental
• Not jealous of others
• Forgive those who have wronged you in the past
• Know that you’re worthy of receiving love
• Not afraid to fail
• Able to manage irrational fear, worry, and anxiety
• Selfless encounters with others
• Not manipulating others trying to control their actions/reactions
• You care about how others feel
• Patient
• Don’t give into peer/social pressure
• Can communicate without antagonizing others
• Recognize, manage, and take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings
• Slow to anger
• Ability to maturely express your wants, needs and desires
• Can listen without reacting
• Can respect others without having to change them
• Can function well… Alone or with others
• Able to take responsibility for our own destiny in life
• Able to maintain a non-anxious presence in the midst of anxiety and stress
• Able to ask for what they need want or prefer clearly, directly and honestly
• Has the capacity to resolve conflict maturely
• Being led by the Spirit

Measuring Your Emotional Health (Review)

Self Differentiation

Differentiation in psychology refers to the process of recognizing and understanding one's own feelings, thoughts, and behaviors in relation to those of others. It is the ability to distinguish between oneself and others, and to be aware of the impact of one's own behavior and feelings on others.

Self and other

“We feel that she talks too much“

• You can’t assume the other people have the same feeling as you

Logic and Emotion

Proverbs 15:28

The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

This is saying that a wise person doesn’t just respond based on emotion. They weigh it with their mind first.

Feeling guided

• Knee-jerk reactions
• Emotion
• Automatic reaction
• Instincts
• Urges

Intellectual guided

• Thinking
• Judgment
• Rational logic
• Rational thought
• Reasoning

In order to make functional decisions we have to have access to both systems and to be able to distinguish between them

What’s In Your Heart

One definition I’ve heard of being emotionally healed is that “you can say whatever you think because what you think is correct“

For Christians our heart should be aligned with God‘s heart

Matthew 12:34-35

34 “You offspring of vipers, how can you, being evil, express any good things? For the mouth speaks from that which fills the heart. 35 “The good person brings out of his good treasure good things; and the evil person brings out of his evil treasure evil things.

Wholeness is when your thoughts and your words are in synch

Emotional adults

Emotionallyhealthy.org/mature

• Able to ask for what they need, want or prefer clearly, directly and honestly
• Recognize, manage, and take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings
• When under stress, can state their own beliefs and values without becoming adversarial
• Respect others without having to change them
• Give people room to make mistakes and not be perfect
• Appreciate people for who they are
• The good the bad and the ugly
• not for what they give back
• Accurately assess own limits, strength , and weaknesses and able to discuss them with others
• Are deeply in tune with their own emotional world
• able to enter into the feelings, needs, and concerns of others without losing themselves
• Has the capacity to resolve conflict maturely
• Has the ability to negotiate Solutions that consider the perspectives of other

Emotionally Healthy Christianity

As Christians, we often know  how we should be living …but we don’t know how

• we need to learn to apply, practically and effectively, the truths that we believe

Therefore, we continue to relate to people in an emotionally immature way.

We usually miss-apply biblical truths and follow the relational skills learned in our families growing up.

 

We don’t learn to be an emotionally mature adult who loves well

Therefore, our relationships are no different than those The world around us

Loving God

Spiritual Maturity

The goal of spiritual maturity is to be aware and conscious of God‘s love all throughout the day

It allows us to move from a “give me give me“ relationship with God to seeing him as Abba father

Genesis 31:4-9

4 So Jacob sent word and called Rachel and Leah to his flock in the field, 5 and said to them, “I see your father’s attitude, that it is not friendly toward me as it was before, but the God of my father has been with me. 6 “You know that I have served your father with all my strength. 7 “Yet your father has cheated me and changed my wages ten times; however, God did not allow him to do me harm. 8 “If he said this: ‘The speckled shall be your wages,’ then all the flock delivered speckled; and if he said this: ‘The striped shall be your wages,’ then all the flock delivered striped. 9 “So God has taken away your father’s livestock and given them to me.

Jacob acknowledges God’s

• presence
• partnership
• protection

Jacob is viewing life through the lens of God

When you talk about your current problems, how often do you use the word “God“?

• Outside of church

If a stranger asks you to “tell your life story“ how many references to God would you have?

Spiritual Progression

• Talking at God
• Repeating with other people told us to say
• Talking to God
• No longer using ready-made prayers of our childhood
• Listening to God
• Being with God

Signs of Spiritual Immaturity

2 Timothy 4:9-10

9 Make every effort to come to me soon; 10 for Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica; Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia.

They deserted Paul for the world

No time to spend with God, so we try to live off of the spirituality of others.

• Scholars
• Preacher
• Radio and TV shows
• YouTube

When we seek God in prayer we approach him in a way to try to get our will done

• Instead of seeking that his will is done

We allow external pressure from the world and the culture around us

• Distractions take our attention off of Jesus
• Take us away from the body of Christ around me

Our worldview was no longer informed by the word of God

• It is a matter of public opinion and consensus

Loving others is not our top priority… self gratification is

Christianity is something you do… not who you are

Example: Lecrae

• Christian/gospel rapper

Prosperity

Don’t equate spiritual maturity with income and possession

Don’t equate spiritual maturity with poverty

Lessons from the life of Joseph

Joseph had a profound sense of the bigness of God

Joseph Realized that in all God is at work

Joseph rested in the goodness of God even when circumstances went from bad to worse

Joseph rewrote his life script according to scripture

The scripts of our families replay themselves

Most of us never examined the script handed to us by our past

Joseph examined his future and then rewrote it with God

Joseph partnered with God to be a blessing

How to Develop Spiritual Maturity

Acts 2:42

42They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

Devoted to the apostles teaching

Gather together

They gathered together every day

They were committed to fellowship

The breaking of bread

Gave sacrificially to one another

Prayer

• Talking to God
• Listening to God
• Being with God

Loving Your Neighbor

Emotional Maturity

Why Emotional Health Is Important

Unhealed wounds open us up to habitual sin against God and others

Unhealed wounds negatively impact your relationships

Signs That You Need to Grow Emotionally

You were unable to recognize and express that you are physically or emotionally tired and unable to participate in an event.

• So you go to the event and you are grumpy.
• You are angry at the person for asking you to go

You are a leader who wants to be liked and validated by your followers.

• Causing you to make bad decisions.

Not loving well during:

• Stress
• Conflict

You don’t “fight fair”

You can’t make complaints in a respectful way

You don’t listen and give people your undivided attention

You don’t know how to negotiate

You don’t know how to feel what other people were feeling

You are easily triggered

• People have to walk on tiptoes around you

Walk on eggshells

https://youtu.be/DcN6pi35Z9I?si=cnK69tDCIZYlesL0

Steps Toward Emotional Healing

Guard Your Gates

You don’t guard a city in the city you guard a city at the gate

- eyes

- Ear

- Mouth

Whoever has your ear has your future

Cut off the source of where the thought  is coming from

That may mean not listening to certain people

• Or not listening to a certain type of music for a season

Guard Your Eyes

Psalms 101:3

I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not cling to me.

Don’t Speak Negative

Proverbs 18:21

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.

Don’t say

• “I can’t remember things“
• “I can’t keep up“
• “ i’m so stupid“

If you argue for your limitations… You get to keep them

Focus on positive thoughts

Philippians 4:8

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

You can choose the thoughts that you want to think this is the one and resistant ones you don’t want to think

Instead of thinking self-centered thoughts… Think of others

Guard your associations

1 Corinthians 15:33

Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

Forgive

Colossians 3:12-13

12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also.

Be aware of your triggers

Proverbs 16:32

One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And one who rules his spirit, than one who captures a city.

Also

• Set boundaries
• Exercise
• Get in nature

Talking to Others

Proverbs 15:22-23

22 Without consultation, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they succeed. 23 A person has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word!

In therapy you want to find your authentic self that you were born as

In Christianity we want to find the authentic version of our self that God intended us to be

Freedom is not when your actions change

Freedom is when your desires change

Instructor: Michael Leadon

References

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

Peter Scazzero

Relationships grow into an emotionally mature adult | part eight | emotionally healthy spirituality series

Emotionally healthy discipleship podcast

Developing a rule of life part eight of eight

Danvers church